It is World AIDS Day today. I feel I should be writing an inspiring and inspired post. But I feel sad and flat and empty. I am sad for all the people who are still dying. I am sad for the friends I lost. I am angry and tired of witnessing so many lives crushed under the weight of fear and shame that this virus still carries, even in our so called ‘civilised’ Europe.
I feel tired with a lot of things today and especially the rhetoric of ‘The End of AIDS” which apparently is in sight… and will be achieved by the roll out of medications alone. It just seems that the world of the scientists and those in power is so far removed from our complicated lives and how difficult it is to take those pills and navigate life with this virus.
I feel sad at the life I lost. On a good day I feel grateful of all the opportunities that being an HIV activist as offered me: to meet amazing people to have a noble purpose and ‘play the hero’. But there is something of me that has been taken away by this little virus, and will not be back.